10 Reasons Why Cats Are Superior to Boyfriends

Are you getting to that stage in life when you’re considering a furry, purring companion to keep you company? Don’t be embarrassed; embrace it. Cats are fantastic, and I would go so far to say that in many cases, they’re even better than boyfriends. Sure, they’re not able to fulfill the physical stuff (that’s definitely not what we mean by Date My Pet), but that’s what the internet, modern technology and credit cards are for. What they can do is provide you love, company and a whole lot of laughs. People can hurl the ‘crazy cat lady’ stigma around all they want, but there are plenty of hilariously generalized reasons to choose a cat over a boyfriend.

1. They Rarely Miss the Mark

You know that I’m talking about toilets here, ladies. Cats are generally incredibly precise when it comes to aiming.

2. They Keep Themselves Well Groomed

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Cats actually care about their appearance and keep themselves looking good. Sure, some of the long haired breeds need additional brushing, but at least they enjoy it.

3. They’re Low Maintenance

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All cats want is sleep, food, pats, and playtime. You won’t have to deal with bad moods, emotional neglect, or tuning into TurtleMan, Duck Dynasty or whatever other crap guys seem to enjoy watching.

4. They Comfort You When You’re Sick

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Cats have a sixth sense when it comes to illness, and are often particularly comforting and loving when their owner is sick. Juxtapose this with a man steering clear of you so they don’t contract Man Flu and you can see why cats are the superior choice.

5. They Keep You Warm

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Your cat won’t judge or pull away from you due to the horrific icicles that you call toes. They’re happy to snuggle up and keep you and your glacier feet warm.

6. No In-Laws

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No crazy mother-in-law is a huge plus in my book.

7. Pats and Only Pats

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They don’t expect anything more from a massage. You know what I mean by that, gentlemen.

8. They Don’t Judge Your Eating Habits

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Making a 1am snack out of peanut butter, chocolate chips and a spoon? A cat will be down with that. Not judgemental looks or unsubtle hints about gym memberships here.

9. No Whiskers in the Sink

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Yeah, that pun did happen. You’re welcome.

10. You Have Access To Their Medical Records

That sounds creepy, and I’m totally comfortable with that. But you have to admit that it’s comforting to know there are no surprise VD issues with your feline furry friend.